So, we hopped on the 14 hour night bus from Airlie to Rainbow beach which most travellers see as a sweet way to save a night’s hostel. It was quite a lovely ride for a few reason. First, they played the sitter…a movie that starts with Jonah Hill going down on a girl…in full sound, with children in the front seat. Then, the bus stopped at MacKay where I got a TWO dollar salad!! Simon has heard me explain many times how amazed I was with the steal of a deal. The salad had chicken, avocado, a full egg, pineapple, olives, cucumber, carrots, tomato, and lettuce. It was the size of a Wendy’s meal salad…in Australia [most expensive country ever] for TWO dollars. Then we began to drive on what felt like a series of dirt roads to a few more small towns across the coast. Of course this was the first bus ride that was actually full. Then at one point it was open enough to have our own seats (we thought), until I woke up with a [what looked like] 18 year old German napping on my shoulder. Only to arrive to Rainbow beach 30 minutes late for free breakfast and 4 hours early for check in.
We stayed at Rainbow beach for the first night before heading to Fraser Island. We had to have a security briefing about driving on sand and fighting dingoes. The main summary was don’t try to ruin a vehicle in the sand, and if attacked by a dingo “defend yourself aggressively”. We were then given a variety of anecdotes about things going wrong on Fraser…it’s always a German. The German got wasted and wandered into the wilderness then got eaten by 4 dingoes…the German girl passed out puking and woke up to a dingo licking her hoo-ha…The German dove into the lake head first and cracked his neck. At least it kept with the theme of Australia…fuck Germans. Secondary theme: fuck shoes.
Fraser Island is the largest sand island in the world. Really it’s an island with lakes, sand, and dingoes. The ‘cool’ thing is driving on the sand…but let’s be honest. I don’t drive manual, it’s the wrong side of the car, the wrong side of the road, on sand, and I’m a [half] Asian woman…dingoes were a big enough liability, I didn’t need to hop behind the wheel. We went in massive lakes, clean creeks, and sub par sand dunes while staying in an aboriginal camp site with no toilet paper and So. Many. Bugs. On the plus side the people in our group were amazing, I ate like a queen (and stretched my stomach…all of the sudden I’m always hungry!), there were bonfires and a night club at the site as well. That being said, I am starting to realize that Australia is a lot more exciting to Europeans as they don’t have the huge landscape beauty we do in Canada…for me everything except the Whitsundays has been matched or beaten by the Rockies or coasts of the Caribean. It’s still sweet and good fun…I’m just not wowed like most of the Germans/Dutch/British appear to be.
Because of the luxurious conditions, I decided to forgo a shower until I got back to Dingo’s (the hostel)…where I finally understood why there was a cm deep of sand in the showers. Bonus: Free exfoliating. Oh, also I ordered Gluten Free food for Fraser which resulted in way better cereal and extra breads and snacks for our group (including rice cakes!). I have gathered that ordering special food is typically the best way to get better food. Even veggie burgers looked better than the subpar beef they provided (once again Alberta Beef has spoiled my appetite).