Square One

I’m leaving the country in two weeks from today!  Scary wouldn’t really describe it…terrifying might.  Yes, of course I’m excited…but I’m leaving everything comfortable for potentially years.  No matter how brave or bad-ass you are that’s still an uneasy thought.

It’s been an interesting planning process with changing dates, paths, travel partners, and what it is I want to do while I’m away…should I work? where? what should I do? do I volunteer? take a tour? write a blog? RTW flight or one ways? cooking classes? what languages to learn?…you get it.  In addition to this the list of things that just need to be done: vaccinations, moving things home, selling things I won’t need, seeing friends & family, getting visas, passport, int’l drivers license, living will (really scary), health insurance, etc.  So, even though I’ve been unemployed simply trip planning and socializing for the past 6 weeks I’ve actually been quite emotionally, mentally, and at times physically exhausted.

I would also like to point out that I’m not travelling to ‘find myself’, fall in love, or avoid big kid life.  They are all potential benefits/outcomes, but I’m travelling because I want to.  I’m a workaholic and I know that once I get into a career I won’t be taking vacations longer than a weekend trip to the Rockies for a while.  I feel like these are years in my life where I can be selfish and a little irresponsible. Elaborating…I don’t have kids, I’m not in a relationship, my belongings are at my parents house, I don’t have a career, and I have a long working life ahead to re-build my savings.

As far as time goes, I always wanted to be a doctor.  That isn’t happening any more.  So my theory is that I could travel around the world for a while, come home, do Grad school if I want, and still be younger than I would’ve been after my residency.  I see the holes in this rationalization (trust me, my friends are buying houses), but I’m going to go with it anyway.

That being said, this quote from eat, pray, love still keeps me a little more at ease with leaving everything I know–including every plan and goal for my future I’ve had since I was a child.

The Physics of the Quest. A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: If you’re brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you. -Liz Gilbert

But while I’m in my pre-quest mode I’m going to continue soaking up the comforts of home which may-or may not-include doing all research from my comfortable bed wrapped in my Egyptian cotton sheets.

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